The Inversion of Helpful Advice

By Sarah Workman Checcone

Whilst in Ikea for the second full day in a row with my husband, accompanied by the sum total of our short offspring, I found myself standing in the bowels of the pendant lighting section, bereft of my spouse who’d taken the golden opportunity to pounce upon a slow-moving herbivore-esque store associate, when for some unimaginable reason my young wards began to tire of meticulously examining chandeliers until 5 pm (again) after having been trapped in this retail establishment since shortly after breakfast (again). A well-aimed electronic device rapidly cured the ills of the elder pair, yet the more petite duo was not so easily satisfied. Though they initially entertained me, as well as other shoppers, with an impromptu, yet highly spirited game of “Gruntminton,” that pastime in which players exchange shrieks, screams and other unique high-pitched sounds while swiftly landing calculated blows atop each other’s skulls, the luster of this sport quickly tarnished, leaving me with an opportunity to invent an alternate activity. As I pondered my options at a duck-and-cover kind of pace, I found myself on the business end of my young master’s “scary crab claws” somewhere about my cheeks and ears, inspiring me to quickly turn this spirited fellow 180 degrees south so that he might regroup by playing “Sleeping Bats” for a bit, as he is fond of doing.. All was well for a few moments until a series of wiseacres proceeded to parade through my little corner of decor Nirvana. “Oh brother!” one particularly filter-free male remarked, “he must have been really bad! How long do you think you can hold him upside-down like that?” Miffed by his unpalatable assumptions about both my child and my intentions, I swiftly responded to his poorly–aimed assertion… “Actually, it’s called Inversion Therapy, and it’s extremely important to his development. Our pediatrician recommended at least 2 hours of complete vertical reversal every day.” Stunned and a bit bewildered, the man edged on to the track lighting without another word, while I heard his wife exclaim as they drifted from view, “Yes… that’s right… Inversion Therapy… that’s supposed to be really good for you. I think Oprah does it.”

This Postpartum Society of Florida Blog was written by…  

Sarah Workman Checcone, PPSF Founder & Exec Dir.